A recall to the Unfamous-Me

I assume that I will become popular few years or decades from now. I would see this article in order to gain faith in life if I have lost one. This article is inspired from Sahil Shah’s Buzzfeed article https://www.buzzfeed.com/sahilshah/lifes-stupidest-lemon

People struggle, they live in compulsion, follow stereotypes and commute forcefully. They are not given any option. We feel sad because we come across few people who teaches us how to feel hatred to ourselves. Thus, I am writing this letter for my Future-me whom I anticipate to be truly famous(I am optimist).

Back in high school, when I used to be “Teacher’s Boy” I had nothing to do in life but go to the bed and do my homework as soon as I step my feet into the house and show the same in the school after I step my feet there. It was not lame but nerd, not smart but hard, following my parent’s instructions blindly (I was obedient). I don’t blame me. I come from a home where my father has crossed the boundaries of toiling and thriving the life’s hustle at every stage and as it’s expected, my mother has sincerely supported him through all the ups and downs.

People in Jetpur were like R K Narayan’s Malgudi Days. They are all innocent but distinctively unaware about the know-how of the modernization, the rapid modernization. Brought up with Papa’s abundant love, mother’s greed-less care, elder sister’s suggestions, paternal uncle’s athletic charm towards me, I grew up 16. I played cricket like a younger version of Sachin. I scored marks like his nervous nineties; mine would be highly appreciated.

The Journey To Be Famous: Begins

Nobody likes the boring story. So to fast things forward, I want to begin with the dozens of huge lemons life threw to me. I couldn’t score so high that I could come in the Top 10s or 20s list. I suffocated in silence of my grievance to not showcase me against the world.

It was 12th. I had pursued science and yes, I was a nerd again. I had to fulfill the incomplete dream. I would miss every single festival to celebrate with my family. Yes, I skipped making friends session. I was manipulated that it wasn’t important.

I couldn’t top. Lol, I couldn’t top my 36-students class. It was so a failure to me.I just ruined my 18 years. That day, I could remember nothing but the people sitting beside me: Parents.

There was a farewell event of Modi School that I deliberately missed. ‘Naam Ke Friends’ informed me that all the parents were called up on the stage irrespective of their children’s score in the boards. I regretted.

Well, I cried, finally, out loud. I didn’t have a choice but talk to the eternal if he can help me with it. I was working hard for my parents so that they don’t have to pay for the private college. I sucked. I got the admission in college, a costly college Marwadi.

Oh, no, no affairs. I was ugly (I am the same). No usual girls’ connection. So, let’s face it. My life sucked till 18. Can it be more worse career wise?

College started. Writing continued. Just like the school days, the people, the fake people, more fake people came across my life who wouldn’t support my skill but name it a hobby or habit.

From the Senior CS Faculty Deepak Mashru, Ami Upadhyay, Karishma and many deceitful faculties didn’t hold my hand when it was required. By this time, I was already on the hindsight of seeing other’s fame with some different but attentive skills. Samrat- The Dancer- My Best Friend and A Roomie.

From his TCS Selection to the most adorable guy in the college to the talented in communication and looks, he rocked and ruled. His roomie (I), great in writing, superb in cricket, and better in studies, obviously IQ and EQ wise, just lagged every single step back.

I stepped forward but this time I knew I had to walk alone. I was completely conscious about the fact that unlike others around me, I wouldn’t get a hand or a finger to walk with though I was facing the reality otherwise, totally opposite unlike me.

I was still innocent, I guess, people were. They supported skills of handsome guys. Fashion shows were more enticing, dance competition would dominate the function and the singers are girls’ first choice. I was into the ‘Spell Bee’ and ‘Elocution’ competition. I continued my writing, studies, extra curriculum, I seriously don’t know why but I kept going, momentum intact and accelerating actually.

Got into AMW, left it, pursued writing, joined Vivek Sancheti (after Akshay Makadiya and Dekhnews and Anandan Konar Didn’t Work), left that fucker and sucker, recruited by Krish Technolabs, fired from it, joined 360 Technosoft, started ‘Write Right’, stopped it midway, decided to leave 360 Technosoft, and ……

It is now 7 years after the sweet 18 year failure, I feel lost. Why did I choose Mechanical? Why couldn’t I fit into the innumerable brands like TVF, AIB, ZeeTV, CricBuzz, SportsKeeda, Scoopwhoop, BuzzFeed and many other writing firms where I could have landed and went with the flow. I don’t ask for it again and again. I just make decisions, smart or dumb that comes into effect eventually, follows it.

I am still the same. Infamous, Unrecognized, and Anonymous. The difference is the age. Well, I can’t stop that go.

People like Sunny Vaghela, Vivek Sancheti, Deepak Mashru, Rashmin Dave (Hindered me in every possible way to reach Ketan Marwadi), and every close friends whom I thought will be my side didn’t.

I felt really alone. Solitude was better when I enjoyed it in Goa (I should do it more often). I understood what the meaning of lonely is: When you feel alone because of your near and dear ones around you. That’s harsh. I know. I don’t obey my parents now. I am not emotional to most of the nature’s rule and discretion. I don’t pray. I don’t believe in ‘Known People’ but puts up my mask and listens to what they me to hear. I observe it, value it what’s necessary and trashes the rest.

I am glad. I am just 25 and I accept today I can’t be a ‘Famous Guy’ the only dream I carried along with me since I was a child. From being nerd to a fast bowler to rock the elocution to rap on the stage to recite poems figuratively to score high in classes to showcasing every single skills I possess, I displayed it all. Now, I am empty inside and people have seen the -Outside all.

Thank you, world. I don’t have any shoulders to cry on today. Thank you. I am just a struggler who successfully switched to ‘Writing’ from ‘Engineering’ and will remain the same. The sad thing about these all is:Before, More Talent was conquering the less talent; Today, Talent can’t cross the barrier protected by the people around him/her.

I quit. I don’t believe ‘the faith in yourself’ or ‘TED Talks’ or ‘Motivational Speech’ by Jobs or your parents work. I quit. I feel sorry for me.